slip slidin

this happens very often to me.

i go on unstoppable careens of loss. i just keep losing and losing. right now im at 168. that is the lowest roll i have had in quite a while. in the past 3 days nothing. nothing has gone right. my aces have been cracked upwards of 4 times and my kk cant hold up either. i make mistakes and get bad beated and then subconsciously or not start tilting. 

one thing that i have noticed is that i tend to play out of boredem or wanting to get my roll back. this cant happen. i can only play when i have the itch, the urge that will make me focus and concentrate. i cannot donate or get fucked over on any more of my roll. it cannot happen.

who the fuck am i and what do i want

ok

well the last post started off attempting to introduce this blog and ended up rambling about god knows what. i put the proverbial cart before the horse if you will, got too far ahead of myself.

1. I am Zach. Im a sophmore. go by ferocious kitty on tilt and fer. kitty on stars. 

2. im an aight poker player. Im pretty solid live but im break even online. god i want to be good on line, and i feel like i can outplay the shit outa these ppl but over time i tend to just give back allll my winnings. well thats gonna stop. Im gonna grind up a stack online.  maybe writing downshit on this blog will help. cant hurt right?

lets see what else should i talk about.

what are my goals online?

i want to fight up to a roll ~1k. pretty ambitious goal. my high water mark is 380 and right now im at like 200. im ehhhhhhhhhh at 3 dollar~ mtts and 6 dollar ~ sngs. there fun, a nice hobby that pays for itself EXCEPT, i tend to go on loooooong cold spots and end up tilting and it gets ugly and i throw away my roll. or i play omaha and lose. miserably. which sucks cuz i feel like i could destroy that game. but anyways, i want to have a roll big enough to play  meaningful stakes aka 24 dollar mtts or 20-40 dollar sngs. i want to comfortably hunt for tokens. but most importantly i want to have a roll that i could take money off of without crippling myself. i want to have a backup source of funds for daily life!

live poker---this basically resolves around sketchy cardroom/dogtracks in NH where i have a pretty baller history and turningstone new york where i am looking foward to a great session this spring break.

Allright so enough about my background

where do i want to go with this?

1. i guess i sorta want this to be a diary. gay. but really i want to force myself to write down shit, i guarantee its gonna be good for me. this will be a nice place for me to jsut talk about whatever the hell strikes my fancy right? cuz im basically just talking to the interets. the wide open great beyond of space and shit. 

2. somewhat of a poker board. i tried a similar thing with magic back in the day, posting on a board among friends to try to learn and pool ideas and have us get better as a communal group via a online board. well, my friends are certainly more serious and higher level thinkingy about poker than my friends were about magic so maybe this forray into online discussion will work better. it will be nice to actually post hands for opinions so i can see what jake or jeff or dave have to say about em long after the fact, instead of having whatever im get deleted. 

3. its gonna be a great procrastination tool. i mean look at me right now. its 3 am i have class in like 7 hours and a paper i havent started. what am i doing? starting a blog. thats right.

Start?

Well.

Ive been reading blogs for quite some time as both  a great means of procrastination and also as a means of learning something about poker. Blogs are a unique medium where viewers can become educated about a topic while simultaneously learning about the blogee as well.

its kind of stalkerish.

but anyways, ive gotten to the point where i want to check my mental bloglist every day primarily to see how my imaginary(one way) internet friends are doing and secondly to see if they happened to post something poker related. 

my most recent runin with the idea of blogging has to do with my friend jake, a sicko, who is on a rediculous couple month span of winning multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars on the virtual felt. basically i want to know whats going on in his head when he takes down the 150r and im afraid to 1. distract him and 2. pester him with rediculous numbers of ims as he navigates the fields of various mtts. i asked him to start a blog in which he could cronicle his adventures and i could see a step by step rundown of how to win a mtt jake toole style. sorta like how hoyazo and emptyman structure their tourney recaps. long story  short this probably isnt going to happen.

recently i have been reading one of my favorite bloggers talk about how much fun writing is. i always used to enjoy writing, just like reading, but ever since college started i write and read sooo much that it isnt enjoyable anymore. well fuck that. writing on a blog every day, or whenever the fuck insperation strikes, is probably good for me. im sure its a good thing to get thoughts down and just to write, not on a deadline or about a topic, just to write. i mean, this is feeling good right now, no word count or page limit shit. plus the fact that im totally procrastinating a paper and watching my other friend run deep in ftops. kids another fucking sicko. 

well damn, ive just rambled a whole lot and i havent really touched on who the hell i am or where i want this to go and i think the reason for this is twofold.

1. the people who are gonna see this are my friends, they know who i am. 

2. i dont know where im going with this, im sorta just writing on the top of my head.

i guess it might warrant a post though.....if im gonna do this i might as well do it right.

go big or go home and shit.